Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Success! We fucked roommates!
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
