I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize