Small penises have feelings too.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
