DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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