Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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