I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i will never coherently bang her
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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