I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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