I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize