Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
