Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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