Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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