the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two words: blizzard sex
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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