Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
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Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
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I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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