No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
