my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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