you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
as a side note pls kill me
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize