absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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