You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
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