Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
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