I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
