people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
