I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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