Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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