Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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