her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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