her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
