i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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