Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Randomize
