Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
