He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
