Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
