I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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