i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
