By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
