Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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