is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
