I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
