I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Woke up backwards on a recliner
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
