I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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