I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
