yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
