She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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