Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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