watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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