alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
