batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
