i need an iv and a liver transplant
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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