I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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