Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
