Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
