I feel like abortions should bother me more
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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