Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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