It's Friday. Sex?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
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