I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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