Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
