Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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