i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
